I’m Sorry For What I Said In My First Trimester

I’m Sorry For What I Said In My First Trimester

Man, pregnancy hormones are tough to handle emotionally, at least for me. I turn into a raging person (this is me saying it nicely ). Literally, I’m yelling, I rage over NOTHING, or what feels like nothing to me but feels like the biggest most important thing in that moment.

This is my second pregnancy and now that I’m in week 7, I’m at the height of the raging episodes. Last pregnancy, I was a raging mama until around week 10. I had a reprieve and then according to the hubby it came back as I got close to delivery. I personally don’t remember this, but I do remember the anger at the beginning.

I was so angry in my first pregnancy that I attracted a car accident. Seriously, I felt that caustic energy between the driver and I. I believe that I attract the energy I put out and I was putting out some gnarly angry energy. I believe our energies physically collided and resulted in a car accident. How do you explain this to the insurance agent ?

A MUST READ: Natural Remedy for Postpartum Depression

It’s hard when you’re raging mad and NO ONE knows you’re pregnant. It’s that hidden part of pregnancy where people can’t see you’re pregnant so they don’t give you more slack – damn. Plus, I’m a plus-size Mama and I didn’t show until I was really 19 weeks along.

With my second pregnancy my husband and I feel like I’m more angry, but I’m also more aware of the anger/rage. I yell “I’m not rational right now, don’t fight with an emotional mama!!!” Then my husband remembers that it’s the hormones coming through. After my hormones have cooled he now kindly says “When you were pregnant” instead of “when you were mad”, understanding that my hormones are raging and I don’t mean to be like this but this is the reality of my situation and I’m trying my best.

Multi-Day Reprieve from Anger and Rage in First Trimester:

But I discovered a tool that I didn’t know about in my first pregnancy that has helped tremendously: acupuncture. Acupuncture has been the only multi-day reprieve I’ve experienced.

To share just how quickly it worked for me was when I was laying on the table after the needles inserted and mid-way through I randomly thought “I love Kyle” mind you I had “lost love” for two days prior. It was remarkable. I leave the sessions feeling about 50% better and then the next day I’m back to feeling like me with moments of crazy high euphoria like “all is perfect in the world” and “this day is perfect”. Because I’m in my first trimester my acupuncturist is taking it very lightly and being very careful, choosing points that are safe for the growing baby inside of me.

Temporary Reprieve from Anger and Rage in First Trimester:

– Writing and reading about how this rage is pretty normal during pregnancy. Thank goodness because I feel like I’m the only one going through it.

– Asking for a time out, i.e. stepping away from the family for alone time.

– Coloring, I have a coloring app which I love

– Adult connect the dot

– Hanging out with friends

– Going to work (for some reason my body registers my place of work as my zen zone). This was really helpful towards the end of my first pregnancy as I was working 30 hours/week.

– Working out. We know that working out gets those endorphins pumping.

– Meditate

– Grounding at the park in the grass, it zens me the f**k out lol

Mama know that you are not alone in what you are experiencing. If we didn’t have these feelings your baby couldn’t grow and develop. Remember that you are doing the best you can. Give yourself some slack. If it feels natural and safe to do so, try out some of the techniques I mentioned above.


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Infinite love and light,

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Author: J Kontos

Hi! I’m J; a full-time Mama by choice and a part-time academic, personal, and career counselor by profession (and by choice as well). I received my Master’s in Counseling and a Bachelor’s in Human Services. My infant, Kaiden, has gifted me with being his Mama. I love all things wiener dogs, coffee, and hearts. I’m waiving hi to you from sunny San Diego!
Infinite love and light, – J

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